


Rewrite

by filthyvictorian



Category: Free!
Genre: Past Rape/Non-con, makorin if u squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 23:11:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3151835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filthyvictorian/pseuds/filthyvictorian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It’s Nagisa who suggests the game of Old Maid, totally out of the blue, as Rin and the boys from the Iwatobi Swim Club all sit around a low table at Makoto’s house. And yet, despite the general feeling of friendliness in the air, Makoto can’t help but notice when Rin’s face keeps falling, ever so slightly, throughout the evening.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rewrite

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Doushiyouka](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/92270) by Asou Kai. 



> I read this doujinshi and felt it really should have gone another way, so I took it upon myself to write an alternate ending that felt a little less grody. Enjoy.

It’s Nagisa who suggests the game of Old Maid, totally out of the blue, as Rin and the boys from the Iwatobi Swim Club all sit around a low table at Makoto’s house. A warm Saturday evening spent eating snacks and playing card games with friends sounds ideal to Makoto, especially when he looks at his longtime best friend smiling along with everyone else, clearly elated about spending time with Rin -- and yet, despite the general feeling of friendliness in the air, Makoto can’t help but notice when Rin’s face keeps falling, ever so slightly, throughout the evening. Even after he wins a round of Old Maid – “Alright! First!” “Eh, Rin-chan’s first again?!” “You guys are too obvious.” – the smile is replaced with a frown once he thinks nobody is watching. Makoto slides a little closer to Rin.

“Rin, you can sleep in my room, if you need to,” he says quietly, so not to bring attention to the situation. Haru slides a quick glance in their direction, but draws his attention back to the rest of the group just as quickly. Everybody else continues on as usual, picking cards from one another, occasionally making a sound or expression that practically gives their hand away.

“…Yeah. I think I’ll do that.” Rin gets up from his spot at the table and walks out of the room. The rest of the group goes quiet as he leaves, then, all at once, turn to Makoto for an answer.

“Ah, he just has a headache, is all!” Makoto replies, raising his hand of cards to examine them. “Where were we?”

—

Two hours later, Makoto makes his way to his bedroom, opening the door quietly in case Rin is asleep. He hears puffs of breath from the bed when he enters, quick breathing which reminds Makoto of training exercises. Except there’s something else mixed in –- quiet moaning, he realizes, and words he can’t quite make out. He shuts the door silently behind him and pads a little closer to the bed.

“N-No… Stop…” he can hear Rin say. A nightmare, then? Makoto leans over and is about to grasp Rin’s shoulder to shake him awake when the boy gives a strangled cry and shudders harshly; his eyes slip open, and Makoto realizes that Rin's face is red. The blush deepens as Rin realizes what just happened, and Makoto feels his own cheeks heat up as the realization hits him as well.

“Ah, um… Did you just… I-I mean, it’s a normal thing, so, you know, you don’t need to get too embarrassed about it, it’s just a little messy, nothing a washing machine can’t fix—!” Makoto pauses his ramblings when he realizes that Rin is giving him a teary-eyed glare.

“Sh-Shut up, Makoto.”

“Sorry!”

The two sit there in an awkward silence for what feels like an eternity. Neither is really sure where to go from here. Finally, Makoto clears his throat.

“I-I’ll take the sheets to the laundry basket. And, ah, um… your… underwear? Y-You can borrow a pair of mine, for the time being. Would you like to take a bath…?”

—

About thirty minutes later the offending articles are in the wash, and Rin is standing in Makoto’s room, wearing a T-shirt, a pair of Makoto's boxer shorts, and a towel draped around his neck. He looks entirely disgruntled. Makoto motions for Rin to sit next to him on the bed, and the part-time Australian does just that. Makoto sneaks a side-eye look at the boy. On any other day, Rin might look downright comical, sitting on Makoto’s bed with wet hair and wearing too-large boxer shorts, but Makoto senses something in Rin that keeps him from laughing. Rin looks embarrassed, of course, but there’s an underlying emotion that Makoto wants to say seems remarkably like fear.

“Um, Rin…” he begins. Rin looks at him expectantly – Makoto looks down at the floor. “Did something happen in Australia?”

Makoto doesn’t see Rin’s reaction, but he hears it; a sharp intake of breath, the squeak of the bed as the result of a barely-concealed flinch. He immediately regrets opening his mouth.

“It’s none of your business!” Rin shoots back quickly, voice quivering in the slightest. Makoto risks a glance at Rin, whose outrage seems to fizzle when he meets Makoto’s eyes. Whatever he was about to yell dies on his lips, and he lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders sagging. He looks like he might cry again, and averts his gaze to the ground.

“Do, um… Do you want to talk about it?” Makoto asks quietly, not taking his eyes off of the redhead. Rin clenches his fists together, his entire body seeming to coil up, making him look smaller. He doesn’t take his eyes off of the floorboards as he takes in a breath, lets it out, and repeats the action. Time marches steadily onward, and after what feels like a long while, Makoto isn’t sure whether Rin is actually going to speak at all, to the point that when Rin does finally speak, Makoto is a little startled.

"Yeah," Rin says. "Yeah, I'll... I'll tell you."

And then, with a very deep breath, Rin dives into his story.

—

Of course, Makoto had tried to prepare himself for terrible news, but this is heavier than he could have imagined.

Rin had been raped by his Australian teammates. Makoto is shocked by the bravery his friend exhibits, recounting the traumatic events. 

“…Before long, I couldn’t really care less about it. It happened so often that sex meant nothing to me. But…” Rin’s breath hitches, like the crack before the dam bursts. “Coming back here and seeing you guys, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t have fun with you guys like I did when we were kids because I’m… dirty. I-I’m _filthy._ ” It starts with a single tear, then another, and another, until Rin is doubled over with his head in his hands, racking with shuddering, heaving sobs. Makoto just sits there next to him, averting his gaze, wiping at his own eyes when the odd tear tries to make its great escape.

“I-I _hated_ it. I hated it so much, but I d-didn’t _do_ a-anything about it. I just got used to it. I started to actually _want_ it,” Rin chokes out through his sobs, curling further into himself. Makoto turns his head to look at Rin for the first time since his story began; he goes to put his hand on his friend's shaking back, but decides against the gesture at the last moment, opting instead to fold his hands in his own lap. 

“Rin…” Makoto is at a loss for what to say. It’s not as if anything he says can fix what had happened. “It’s not your fault, Rin.” The words feel empty, like they’re a requirement, something anybody would say in his position. He means what he said, of course, but doubts Rin believes in his sincerity. 

“I’m disgusted with myself… I…” Rin’s sobs begin to subside, if only a little. It seems the worst of it is over, at least. Still, it takes a few minutes for the boy to gain back any real composure; Makoto lets Rin come back around at his own pace.

“I-I’m sorry,” Rin says quietly, after he’s choked out the last of his sobs. The odd tear still escapes the corners of his eyes, and his nose is running, so Makoto reaches around Rin to grab the box of tissues off his bedside table.

“Don’t be,” he says as he offers the tissues to the red-eyed boy. Rin takes one gratefully, blowing his nose before dabbing at his eyes.

Another uncomfortable silence stretches out between them for some time, until Rin leans over and gently places his head on Makoto’s shoulder. Once again, Makoto isn't entirely sure how to handle the situation.

“U-Um, ah, are you tired, Rin?”

Rin lets out a quiet hum in response, which Makoto takes to mean yes.

“Th-Then you should probably lie down on the bed. You can sleep here tonight; I’ll call Kou-chan and tell her you’re staying h—” as Makoto speaks, he moves to get up and grab his phone, but before he’s able to Rin is holding his wrist, keeping him from leaving. “Rin…?”

“Don’t go,” Rin mumbles, tightening his grip and tugging lightly on Makoto’s arm, beckoning him to sit back down. Makoto obeys, albeit not feeling entirely like he should. Rin seems strange all of a sudden; he turns to face Makoto, his eyes shiny with tears again. “Don’t go,” he repeats, and leans ever closer to Makoto; the latter can feel Rin’s breath on his lips, warm and smelling faintly of vegetable Pocky.

Before Makoto can even fully register the situation, Rin is kissing him. The kiss increases quickly in urgency as the red-haired boy maneuvers so his whole upper body is facing Makoto; he’s about to move in even closer, but Makoto takes him firmly by the shoulders and pushes Rin gently away.

“R-Rin…” is all he can manage for a moment. Rin looks suddenly embarrassed, and he shakes Makoto off harshly, practically flinging himself up from the bed in the process. This time it’s Makoto’s turn to grab onto Rin’s wrist, refusing to let go even when the shark-toothed boy tries to pull away. “Rin, wait!” Makoto cries out, standing up to get better leverage on the situation. “Please stop!”

Finally, Rin ceases struggling, yet Makoto keeps his hand where it is. The latter looks at the former, while the former drops his line of sight to the floorboards.

“Please don’t leave,” Makoto says, eyes still trained on the top of Rin’s drooping head. “Stay here tonight. It’s okay. Please?”

Ever so slowly, Rin lifts his head, though his eyes still won’t quite meet Makoto’s. After a few false starts, he says,

“Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Makoto shoots back, almost immediately. “It’s late, and it’s been a long night.”

“You’re not…” Rin can’t seem to find the right word; Makoto shakes his head anyway.

“No. I understand. I’m here for you, Rin.”

Rin hadn’t realized just how much he’s longed to hear those words. I’m here for you. After all the worry, the guilt, the self-loathing, here’s somebody who could hear his story and still care. Be there for him. Once more, Rin dips his head down. He steps closer to Makoto, so that the top of his head touches Makoto’s chest. Hesitantly, Makoto wraps his arms around Rin, enveloping him in a somewhat awkward hug. Rin’s eyes begin to water again, and soon he’s shuddering with sobs once more, though they’re not the same as before – earlier, his tears had been filled with shame and hatred; now, they were filled with thanks.

_Thank you, Makoto,_ his tears seem to say. And the warm body surrounding him replies, _of course._

Of course Makoto is here. Of course Makoto would be kind, welcoming, helpful, caring. As Makoto leads him carefully to the bed, Rin can’t help but feel foolish for ever believing that Makoto would shut him out. When Makoto lays them down, side by side, without a lewd touch or a hungry kiss, he can’t help but feel lucky to have somebody so warm in his life. And as he drifts off to sleep with the lights still on and the bedding still in the wash, Rin can’t help but think that maybe, maybe, this is exactly where he belongs.


End file.
